Double Jeopardy

The Nigerians are after me now. And Mr. Ben Bernanke is in cahoots with them. I received a letter from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, so it must be official. Mr. Bernanke is acting as the intermediary for this transaction. Apparently I inherited a lot of money from someone in Nigeria. Wow. I’ve never even been there!

If Mr. Ben Bernanke sent me the letter by email it must need my immediate attention. You can always trust the U.S. Government. They would never swindle me like Wall Street.

Hmmm. I think I will send them my name and address. But wait — they already have my name and address. I filled out my census form. And my current occupation? The government knows I am unemployed so why are they asking me that? I’m really tired of people asking me if I found a job yet.

And my banking info? The government already has my banking info. Maybe they just want to double check.

This is starting to seem suspicious. I think I am going to write Ben a letter and ask him what he’s up to with these Nigerians. I’ve received Nigerian related correspondence  by email before. I handled it with the most utmost respect, diplomacy, and confidentiality. Maybe I should just click delete.

But maybe they are considering me for something big. The letter ends with the words “thanks and God Bless You”. Maybe they want me to be Ambassador to Nigeria….

I just hope they don’t put me under overhead lights and make me look ugly. You know those lights, the kind they use in discount department store dressing rooms. Lighting is everything. Seriously.

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3 Responses to Double Jeopardy

  1. Maxim says:

    You got to send them your credit card number and SSN just to make sure it’s actually you, of course! 😀

  2. JenL says:

    Wow a windfall with Ben’s blessing. He was in the New York Times Friday cheering everyone up about the economy, so this explains everything. If you email Ben, I’m sure he’ll give you the bank account number there at the Federal Reserve for confirmation. After all, you’re honorary Ambassador now,

  3. Anonymous says:

    these are lovely Cupcake.

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